My Friend Betty
Betty was the type of person
that never met a stranger. She grew up in a rural Texas community
during hard times but always made the best of it. Betty moved
to the big city of Houston, raised her family and worked at the
Intercontinental Airport where she had a smile and a joke for
everyone that passed her way!
Our friendship started after
we both moved back to rural Texas. We were neighbors so to speak,
just lived 3 miles down the road from one other. We worked together
for awhile and our husbands both worked for the county. We enjoyed
our long phone chats and trips to Wal-Mart and the mall. The hour
drive one way gave us plenty of time to catch up on one another's
lifes. I don't think there was much we didn't know about each
other. My children called her and her husband Mee-maw and Pee-paw.
Everyone asked if she was my mother! She was like a mother to
me as well as my friend.
She had known for sometime
that something was wrong. Since she moved back she had worked
for a doctor here and was well aware of the symptoms. I think
she just choose to ignore them at first. When she finally went
to the hospital to have a scan and biopsy, it was already progressing.
Within a few weeks she was
in M.D. Anderson having a both breasts, muscle, and lymph nodes
removed. Soon it was trips
to M.D. Anderson for treatments both radiation and chemo. They
also provided her with counseling and wigs when her hair fell
out. She had such a beautiful bald head which she chose to wear
a scarf or a ball cap on instead of the wigs. She always had a
joke, smile and a hug for all who cared for her. The nurses and
doctors were always grateful when Betty would come to brighten
their day!
She never really complained
to anyone except when the pain was really bad and even then she
did it with a smile and a joke. In private though she would tell
me that she wasn't going to make it. I used to get so mad at her
for saying that. She took a negative attitude about it in private
but the people around her thought she was doing so well. I kept
at her all the time to think positive thoughts and that she was
going to beat this thing!
When Betty got the news that
the cancer was gone, we all breathed a sigh of relief! But she
continued with the trips to the hospital for regular scans and
blood work. Her hair grew back in thicker and darker than it was
before. She never had to put color on it to hide the gray, there
wasn't any! The doctor told her if she would quit smoking and
test cancer free for so many months they would consider reconstructive
surgery. No matter how hard she tried or what kind of patches
or gum she took, there was no end to the smoking! I had quit and
was encouraging her to do the same, but she would just get mad
at me and tell me to stop preaching! She really enjoyed her cigarettes
and would not give them up.
We celebrated her 5 year anniversary
of being cancer-free! She bought her a new truck and even started
going with her sister and sister-in-law to LA to play the slots
on the River Boats. They won big one time and split the pot! She
came home and bought a new washer-dryer and refridgerator which
she badly needed. Those were happy times for Betty!
Within a few months she started
having bad pain behind her eye. She had been going for scans and
nothing was found but she told me the cancer was back and she
would not make it this time. I was very upset with her for giving
up and didn't call or go by os much. I wanted her to think positive!
She was taking pain pills, sleeping alot, and wouldn't go anywhere.
I would go over and try my best to get her to go somewhere with
me just to get her out of that dark house but she refused.
We found out the cancer had
spread again. She had a tumor behind her left eye and went through
radiation on it but could not have anymore chemo because she had
reached her limit of what her body could handle. Within a few
weeks it had spread to her brain and she was doing strange things.
Some days she was her old self but others you couldn't make sense
of some of the things she said or did. I called in the home health
service and hospice.
Her children didn't really want
to believe she was going down so fast. They thought we were just
making mountains out of mole hills. To tell you the truth at first
I didn't believe she was getting that bad either. I thought she
had just given up. The doctor said she may live 6 months or longer
but it was only two weeks before she was completely bed ridden.
My daughter was working home health care at the time and was the
one to go every morning to care for her. The agency said they
could get someone else to do that since Betty was like family
to her but she wanted the privilege of taking care of Mee-maw..
I went over and did her nails
and painted them for her. They were so long and strong! We said
our good-byes, yet I still was not believing it all until I looked
into her eyes. I called her daughter and told her to come now
but she couldn't wntil the next week. In the meantime, Betty had
a dream about her father whom she loved dearly. She was closer
to her father than her mother for some reason. She asked me one
day if I could see him. She said he was standing right there in
the corner. I looked at her husband and we both thought she was
talking out of her head but she insisted that he was there dressed
in a white shirt.
She asked for the preacher to
come and visit and made the arrangements for him to do her funeral.
She was prepared to meet her maker.Betty's children came home
to see her and her daughter and family from Tennesse drove in
late Saturday night. They visited with her but she slept most
of the time.
On Sunday morning her oldest
daughter called me to let me know that her mother's breathing
was different so I had her call for the nurse. My daughter arrived
to take her vitals and told me if I wanted to see her I needed
to come now! It only took me about 4 minutes to get to her howse
and as I walked in the door my daughter was folding her arms and
placing her hands over her chest. I reached to hug her and felt
a swish pass from her through me and I knew it was her spirit
going to heaven to be with her Daddy! She had only been waiting
to say good-bye to her children. And I am so glad they were able
to get there to see her.
She will always be with me.
I talk to her and think of her daily. She isn't in the grave yard.
That's just a morker for the family to honor her memory. She is
with each one of her loved one's telling jokes and smiling at
life!
My
Friend Richard 
