I have experienced the pain of losing a close friend to cancer on several very sad and traumatic occasion. Frances died of Lung Cancer that was not discovered until after her death.
My Friend Frances
"Grandma"
May you always walk in sunshine and Gods love around you follow.For the happiness you gave us,no one will ever know.It breaks our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.Apart of us went with you,the day God took you home.A million times we'll need you,a million times we'll cry.If love could have saved you- you never would have died.
This is the poem Frances grandchildren read to her at her funeral service.
I had never been to a lovelier funeral or seen so many flowers in one room.
Frances was loved by all who knew her and did what ever she could to make someone feel special. My son called her Mom and always said he had two mom's. She was his Second Mom and the best Lemon Pie maker he knew. She spoiled him terribly. Whenever he wanted something to eat and I didn't have it cooked, off to Frances he would go because he knew she would always have a pot of something delicious on the stove!
She was a very loving, friendly and outgoing person who had raised her four children and several more that always found their way to her door. Frances was a Dietitian for a high school for years and retired to the country when she married her second husband. It wasn't long until the Nursing Home contacted her to help run their kitchen.
She worked for several more years and every year she said she was retiring as soon as they found a replacement. In the meantime, she helped her husband tend cows, cut hay, cut firewood, fix fence, raised rabbits and quail, and kept three very large gardens. Always finding the time to fix a big meal, babysit her grandchildren, and have a smile and warm hello for anyone she met. She did finally retire about a year before she died, only to work harder at home!
Frances had a massive heart attack in her 40's and was always worried that she would have more problems with her heart. Her husband had lung disease from asbestos and was constantly taking him to the doctors for that. She was worried that something would happen to him and she didn't know how she would handle it.
Her kitchen was alwoys full of friends drinking coffee and visiting with her. She never locked her door because someone might come by. The weekends were always a busy time at her house with all the kids and grandkids. Even her mother and brothers would come to visit every chance they got.
That's why I never thought anything of it when she complained to me that she was just bone tired and was going to have to quit doing so much and babysitting so often. She told me it just wore her out. I told her she just needed a break from all the kids and we decided to take a Friday night out.
Frances and I went shopping and had a great time! We stopped at a nice Mexican Food Restaurant before going home and had a wonderful meal which was one of our favorites! We even ordered a couple of Marquerita's and took our time enjoying the music and just talking. We had such a great time that we decided that we needed to start getting off like that more often a have a regular girls night out!
That was on Friday and by Wednesday she was very sick and couldn't hardly get out of bed. She went to the doctor who gave her a shot and told her that she just had the flu. She should take her medicine and go to bed. After all February is a bad time for the flu.
I called to check on her Friday morning and she sounded so bad I told her she should go back to the doctor but she said she would be better soon. I was really worried about her. Frances' sister-in-law came over and talked her into going to the hospital which was at least an hour away. By the time she got there she was in very bad shape. The doctors thought she may be having a stroke or something at first. Within hours she was in the ICU hooked to machines and in a coma. That's the way she remained for two weeks.
The doctors told us they thought she had encephalitis that you can get from mosquitoes.. She had skinned some rabbits a couple of days before she got sick so she was checked for some kind of fever that rabbits carry but that was negative. Everyone stood by at the ICU waiting room for their turn to see her. She seemed to react to me when I would talk to her and if she opened her eyes at all it was with a faraway look.But I would rub her legs and talk to her and she would hold my hand. We all knew with the new antibiotics and care she was given she would be well soon.
That's why everyone was so devastated when she died. Only after the autopsy came back did we know that she did not have the sleeping sickness but cancer that had metastasized in her lungs and stomach. They said it had created a poison like substance that had gone to her brain. I had never heard of such a thing as that. The doctors said she had the cancer for a long time and it had hardened. It was poisoning her and she never knew it. I guess that is better than having to suffer with cancer and gradually lose your strength or will to live.
In Loving Memory
Frances Ann
January 15, 1941-February 19,1997
56 years 1 month & 4 days
My Friend Richard
My Friend Betty
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